In the beginning, there were three entities, by the names of Thremrer, Boan, and Heboto. Thremrer represented earth, rock, and dirt, Boan represented water, ice, and liquid, and Heboto represented sky, wind, and space. They were great friends in the cosmos and had been around for quite some time.
One (well let’s just say day for lack of a better word) day, they were just hanging out, and they realized how boring it was to float through nothingness talking for all eternity, so they decided to fill the time by creating the universe.
Heboto swished his hand and space was born, filled with little glowing balls of light that permeated the darkness.
Thremrer punched his fists together and balls of dirt and rock flew out to form planets and asteroids.
Boan spit and filled the planets with water, ice, and gave finishing touches to the atmospheres.
Right here may be a good place to mention that they did not like the idea of there being other living beings besides them, so they had took great care on each planet to make sure that no life would pop up and bother them. But anyways, continuing…
Thremrer, Boan, and Heboto looked out across the universe and were proud of themselves, each thinking that they had contributed the most to this masterpiece. They moved about, inspecting the planets and asteroid belts and noticing how the tiny objects would rotate around the bigger ones and all of it was just so interesting and cheerful. It made them happy to be able to look at each planet and see how different the planets were from each other, some were big, some small, some were icy, some were molten lava, and even some still were a mix of the two, constantly melting and freezing at the same time.
Eventually they came across a small little galaxy that had a sort of milky color (I’m really not sure how they got that word, it’s not like they had milk or anything) and they peeked inside to see a bunch of planets looping around a middle star. It wasn’t that interesting, so they left to go look at other stuff.
Now it’s also important to note that time moves differently for them, let’s say that about one year for us is a minute for them. They can, however, slow down their perception of time to match whichever galaxy they decide to observe at the moment, being that they are basically gods.
So while they were away looking at other planets and laughing at the destruction of some, one of the planets in that small milky galaxy decided to be different. It seemed to just be a ball of molten lava but as it rotated on it’s axis, the lava began to solidify and harden, and the atmosphere began a cycle that it would carry on for many decades to come… The water began to fall from the sky, dripping and dropping and sizzling on the warm rock… It began to make rivers and oceans, lakes and streams… The rock was eroded to dirt and from the shores, where the water and dirt met, new life sprung up. Sure, it was small, so small you couldn’t even see it, but it would grow to take over the whole world, permeating every crack with green and among that, small beings to frolic within it, to hunt and be hunted, another cycle amidst the cycle. But just to remind you, this was not wanted by Thremrer, Boan, or Heboto, being the selfish weirdos they were.
But by the time that all of them had come back to the milk-colored galaxy, they saw the planet and realized that it was green, green with life! They looked down and saw living beings on the planet, running amuck throughout the other green-colored life, and this disgusted them!
“Life other than us?!”, they yelled, “Disgraceful!! We cannot have this!”
Thremrer came forward and said in a great, booming voice, “I shall cast these, uh… (coming up with a name for them on the spot), animals asunder with 4 mighty asteroids!!”
And with a big clap, Thremrer sent 4 asteroids down, that in our measurement of time they hit decades apart, but to the three friends they simply took a few hours to hit the planet.
“That may have killed off many of the creatures on this distasteful planet”, said Heboto, “but many have still survived. I shall create a type of animal that will slowly but surely destroy this world, and I shall call them humans! They shall act as a virus on the planet, destroying to achieve what they want.”
So the clever Heboto looked at two apes and thought them ideal for this, and so the entity threw two parts of his mind at them, and they struck the apes in the face with such force that their faces flattened out, their backs arched up, and all of their hair popped off.
Boan, being very impatient, said to them, “This is taking too long!”, and he blew an icy breath at the planet, throwing the whole planet into a long and cold darkness. All this managed to do was make the creatures stronger. God damnit, Boan.
This was mostly the end of the tale, but since we haven’t reached the end yet, we’ll just have to see how everything works out eventually.
The Glorious End!?